How many times a day do you hear the words I?m sorry? I use the words whenever I feel like I have done something harmful to another person.
I know people that would never even think of apologizing to someone, because it shows a sign of weakness. I don?t believe in this, but at the same time, I often tire from listening to the same person saying that they are sorry 30 times a day.
1. PASSIVE ? Imagine that your life is like a football field. There aren?t any boundaries to protect the turf which takes a beating as players and fans run onto it after the game. Those individuals who are passive, usually either don?t know their personal needs or don?t have skills to ensure that they are met. They allow other people to run all over them and tend to feel good about themselves only when there is peace in their environment or other people are happy. A low self-image can keep them trapped in the idea that they are less important than others or not deserving. Often they ?settle? or suffer in silence while their needs are unmet.
2. The old way is no longer in common practice.
A friend commented one day how upset she was that her nieces and nephews never call her. She continued with accusations of how thoughtless they were after all that she had done for them when they were growing up.
She confessed that when she complained to them they told her that if she had a computer they would email or a cell phone they would text her, but that they seldom make phone calls.
Her unwillingness to recognize that modern communication has changed has kept her from more frequent contact with her relatives.
3. The old way has been replaced with a more efficient and safer version.
When I was preparing to travel to China the teller at my credit union advised me that merchants around the world preferred their own currency to traveler?s checks.
So, armed only with my debit card and credit cards, I went on my trip. Just as the teller suggested, I got cash from the hotel?s ATM machine and was well prepared for day trips and shopping.
4. ASSERTIVE ? People who are aware of their needs and know how to ensure they are met in a healthy manner, show respect for themselves and others while dealing with issues. They speak firmly but politely while staying focussed on resolving problems. Preservation of self-esteem for themselves and others is a result of using assertive techniques that include honest communication.
If you are unhappy and feel that some or all of your relationships are in trouble, perhaps learning more about assertiveness will help you. Remember, in order to live a happy and assertive life, you need to know your needs and be able to ask in a healthy manner for them to be met.
Try learning about and using assertiveness. I?m sure you will be glad that you did
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