My sorrow is my own ? grief part 4 ? guestblogger | 365days - Hood ...

I have experienced several losses in my life. Family members and close friends have died and disappeared from my life. These deaths occurred in various short periods of time. I have experienced close friends? mental and physical illnesses. These losses have affected me very much over time. But I still want to talk about something else. Some years ago I ended up in a classic period in life. I think that many people go through their 40s, like I did. I started to ask questions. Existential ones; I watched the stars, and started thinking about our infinite universe. I got confused in a way I didn?t think was possible.?I, a believer of science, an atheist or possibly a agnostic started to doubt in myself and my ability to be structured. Off being capable of taking care of my own feelings. I discovered that I early in life had lost touch with my feelings, that I had turned them off, or in some cases theorized them. I had developed escape behaviour in world class.?Eventually the bubble burst, and I realized that the path that I had chosen is not good for me. My path! It felt like I ran into an emotional tsunami, and a part of my ego died.

I now understand that it takes a lot of time to go through all the emotions that put so much pressure on me. From all directions! It is not possible to go round, under or over them. I have to go right through! I know that I will do that. With help, I will be successful!?My sorrow is my own. It is good to know. I have late in life learned that I can react to a loss the way I want, or choose to do. I don?t have to do it the way others have told me. That it is ok to do it my way. I have learned to appreciate art more than before. I recently visited an exhibition of a well-known Swedish painter. He painted the way my mind is structured. It was like coming home. At the same moment I had that feeling, I realized that I am about to come through. What a journey! //?Rickard L?f, father of two boys, married, living in a small town in the south of Sweden. Rickard, thank you for sharing your story! //Love Marianne

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This entry was posted in Grief and tagged Personal growth, Stress, self esteem, life, inspiration, family, stockholm sweden, health, personal development, happiness, friends, love, marianne 365days, self help, psychology, death, mental-health, Marianne Pettersson, self improvement, grief, sorrow, literature, journey, infinite universe, science. Bookmark the permalink.

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